I am in control of what I do. And that's it. I am going to stop trying to make every single thing go my way.
I'm learning to take life as it comes at me. And make the best of it. I mean, I have been given the most amazing family who even if i have lost my mum and dad they gave me memories that will last me a life time, a good home, the best friends, a passion...and now it's my turn. My job to turn what I've been given into something. And I realized, that I only need one person in my life to do that. And that's me. I was watching this show tonight...and it had me thinking...what do I want to be remembered for when I die? Do I want to be that boy everyone loved? Or do I want to be the boy everyone looked up to? The one they admired? Who do I want to be? Or rather...who am I? I'm Benjamin Haynes Elkins-Green. I am a strong boy. And sure, I may not have been through the things some of you have...but what I have been through has hurt too, and it has affected me. The things I experience everyday teach me something. But I think the biggest lesson I have learned through it all...is to learn to let go. Tonight, on the same show...they said something along the lines of "Letting go is never easy. Because holding onto the past feels good. But sometimes, you need to let go...to make room for the rest of your life." And nothing has ever been more true. I used to hold onto everything so tightly for fear that I might forget or it might slip away...that I suffocated it. It died. And all I was left with were broken memories. But I've let go. Because dwelling on the past never gets anyone anywhere. It was holding me back. I couldn't keep regretting things I had done..or said. Because there's nothing I can do about it now. It happened. And it happened for a reason. I may not know that reason right now, but someday...I will be thankful that it happened. Most people say "Live for today." But I say "Live for tomorrow." Because what's the point of living if you never have aspirations, dreams, plans or wishes? Life was made to be fulfilled. And I plan to do just that. I have dreams. I am going somewhere in life. You can join me or not, that's your choice. But either way, I'm going to succeed. I've got this living thing down pretty good. Now all I need to start doing it :)
